


lay down your restless soul

by softtofustew



Series: dayfly [2]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, HYUNSUNG, M/M, Non-Chronological, basically me indulging in writing predebut hyunsung, predebut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-03-29 20:45:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19027600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softtofustew/pseuds/softtofustew
Summary: han jisung: nineteen, kinda still naive, in a relationship with possibly the most gorgeous boy alive (read: hwang hyunjin), cherishing their tumultuous past of ups and downs. or the one where jisung reminisces in his and hyunjin’s trainee days of arguments and childish gambles, and wonders how they could’ve have ended up here, where they stand today.





	lay down your restless soul

**Author's Note:**

> title from restless soul by flor //  
> me ?? speed-typing a predebut hyunsung work in two days ?? more likely than you think. been thinking about the sequel for a while now and with exams out of the way, here we go!  
> [ ps : this includes scenes from the previous work in the series. to ensure a smooth read, do help yourself by reading as the days fly by; if you have done so, hope you enjoy !! ]

when jisung awakes, he registers the feel of his cheek smushed into a puddle of drool on his bedspread, accompanied by the feel of a heavy body pressed up against his back. he groans, trying to will away the ache in his calf muscle from yesterday’s practice. his voice rumbles, awakening the boy next to him.

“mmph,” hyunjin hums from behind him. as exhausted as he is, jisung still manages to shuffle around to meet the boy, face-to-face. as his eyes slowly peel open, he observes the crease in hyunjin’s knitted eyebrows, the little blemish sprouting up near the bridge of his nose, the chapped lips pressed thinly together — jisung only hesitates for a second before leaning over and pecking his lips, feather-light.

hyunjin hums, struggling to force his eyelids open. “morning,” he mumbles, voice heavy with lethargy. he subconsciously throws an arm around jisung’s slim waist, wrapping around the latter before tugging him closer. jisung hopes the older can’t hear how fast his heart is beating, and it’s not even seven in the morning yet.

hyunjin buries his head into the crook of jisung’s shoulder, nuzzling his nose against the exposed skin there. his hair tickles jisung’s nose, who doesn’t hide his giggles. “c’mon, jinnie, we gotta go get ready.”

“too early,” hyunjin whines. “wanna cuddle.”

“we’ll cuddle later,” jisung protests, but he feels his resolve melt away too. his boyfriend is so warm and cozy and _soft_ right now, ash brown hair a mess atop his head, leg thrown over his own to cage him in. and it’s not like jisung’s even trying to escape from the taller’s grip on him.

a few minutes tick by, and hyunjin’s heavy breathing returns. “hyunjiiiiiiin,” jisung nudges the boy’s cheek. “come on. manager-nim is gonna kill us.”

“he won’t,” the boy replies blatantly. he thrashes at the sheets entangled at his feet, making more room for his long legs. jisung barely remembers how the boy even got onto his bed in the first place last night. “wanna stay here forever.”

“sap.”

“realist,” hyunjin peels one eye open to look at jisung, before pouting. “fiiiiine. i’m so tired, though.”

“we all are,” jisung shoots back, finally brushing hyunjin’s arm off of him with great reluctance; the loss of skin contact is almost detrimental to jisung’s state of being. “but we can sleep when the stylist noonas get us ready, okay?”

rubbing at one eye, hyunjin lifts a thumbs-up with his other hand. jisung grins, pressing his lips against hyunjin’s forehead gently before scrambling to his feet. just as he makes a beeline for the toilet, he hears his boyfriend call out for him. “sungie?”

“yeah?”

“aren’t we filming for two kids room today?”

right. that. jisung swivels around daintily to stare at hyunjin, his lost puppy expression scribbled across his face as he awaits an answer. “yeah. i remember chan reminding us about that last night…”

“ah,” hyunjin smiles softly. “we have a lot to say, don’t we?”

feeling his heart contract under his ribcage, jisung swallows. “yeah.” a beat, a pause. “yeah, we do.”

 

— 

 

sometimes jisung doubts how the both of them could’ve come to be where they stand today. sometimes, because there’s the odd tension that was in full blossom shortly before their survival show filming. sometimes, jisung wonders how they could’ve ended up _here_ when they’d been so far back _then_.

sometime in between practising for the survival show, jisung remembers faintly, several sparks that lit aflame between the both of them, before jisung finally got off his high horse and made up with hyunjin (after his dreams of kissing the other, of course). he can’t seem to put a finger on what ticked him off that one day when they were practising with the others, sweaty and exhausted from continuously dancing for three hours straight.

“jisung-ah,” hyunjin calls out blatantly, as he has done with some of the other members beforehand - seungmin, who tripped over his feet and practically sailed over a crouching minho, and jeongin, who tends to start off on the wrong foot from the very beginning. stakes are high, and the tension in the room is unmistakable. “you missed your footing. again.”

something about the underlying malice in hyunjin’s tone sets jisung off. he grunts, ignoring the other and instead carrying on with his stretching. from across the room, he can see chan staring straight at him as he stretches, but doesn’t say a word - jisung knows that chan’s tired of him and hyunjin always barking at each other for no apparent reason.

when jisung doesn’t respond, hyunjin shakes his head. “did you even hear me? you missed your footing again, and you’re not eve-”

“-i _get_ it, you can stop rubbing it into my face,” jisung shoots back, and suddenly the dance room goes quiet. the squeaking of sneakers against the grimey floors comes to a halt. out of the corner of his eye, jisung sees felix almost dropping his water bottle to the floor.

hyunjin huffs. “i’m just trying to look out for you, you know. it’s not just about you; if one of us messes up, the whole routine is flawed,” he says slowly, enunciating each syllable with the voice of a scolding dad, as if jisung is a five-year-old kid with a bad temper.

“i can look out for myself just fine, hyunjin-ah,” jisung scoffs. “‘s just one mistake, you don’t have to get so worked up about it.”

he’d been a total dick towards hyunjin before, but never had he been so blunt about it in front of all their other teammates in the same room. chan seems to part his lips to tell them off for arguing, but hyunjin’s faster - he marches over to where jisung is standing by the boom box and snarls. “you think so high about yourself, don’t you, jisung ah? if you don’t fix your mistake, you’re sure to fuck the whole thing up.”

“how about _you_ try fixing _your_ mistakes, then?” jisung spits back, his eyes drilling holes into hyunjin’s shaky dark ones. he knows he should stop, god, he should, but the lethargy in his bones is fuelled by his frustration. “your rapping was so fucking _terrible_ in the morning, i bet even dogs can bark better than you.”

“break it up!” chan hollers from where he’s standing, but hyunjin shakes his head furiously.

“your dancing is even worse, how sloppy can you even get? you might as well just stick to solo rapping and see where you end up,” hyunjin bites back, and fuck. that really stuck a bullet straight at jisung’s heart. aim, hit.

bullseye.

“i’m done with this bullshit - done with _your_ bullshit,” jisung seethes, carding a hand through his greasy hair, before making a move to swipe his phone and bottle off of the couch. and hyunjin lets him, lets him huff and stomp off and out of the room, despite chan calling him back shrilly. he makes the slam of the practice room door obvious, the sound reverberating throughout the empty hallway, before stalking off.

he doesn’t even notice the first tear that slips out of the corner of his eye; he furiously brushes it away as he continues storming down the hallway. he makes a beeline for the cafeteria, the urge to indulge in a late 10pm supper bubbling in his gut, as it always does when he’s frustrated.

as he rounds the corner, he catches someone running up to him from behind. he grumbles as he shoves the doors to the cafeteria open, allowing them to swing shut behind him. not too long after, the metal doors squeak open again.

“jisungie?” a voice wavers in the air. realising that it’s woojin, jisung admits defeat - he admires woojin and how calm and composed he always is, how he makes everything seem so simple even at the most difficult of times. he allows himself to swivel around to look at the older, the collar of his shirt visibly drenched with sweat, his hair like a bird’s nest atop his head. his eyes are calm with concern in his irises, as he stands there. “you okay?”

 _no_ , he wants to snap back, but instead he just shrugs. exhaustion from the argument begins to seep into his skin and settle there, and he wipes the perspiration dotted across his forehead. “i don’t know. you saw what happened.”

woojin hums. the cafeteria is empty, save for the both of them and the bored-looking cashier. he walks up to the cashier and orders a serving of jisung’s favourite toppoki, before gesturing for jisung to sit with him at a nearby table for two. when they’re facing each other, woojin clasps his hands together on the tabletop.

“do you want to talk about what happened?” woojin asks softly. maybe chan sent him out here because chan’s too fucking tired of dealing with this beef between hyunjin and jisung. or maybe woojin just volunteered because it’s _kim woojin_ , one of the nicest trainees jisung has yet to meet. “or is it too early to speak of what happened just now?”

“‘s fine,” jisung sighs. he stares down at his worn-out sneakers, shoelaces untied. “i just don’t like hyunjin. he’s not… he’s tough to bear with.” he _would_ say more, elaborate more on just _how_ tough it is to bear with the other, but he opts to clamp his mouth shut. “he thinks so highly of himself, and he’s always nitpicking at the small things when he himself isn’t flawless. who gave him the right to do that?”

woojin chuckles, shaking his head. “is instructor baek flawless?” he asks, suddenly mentioning their dance teacher. “is channie flawless? no. they both have their flaws. so why do you still listen to them telling you off on the littlest things?”

jisung chews on his lower lip. “that’s… different. we listen to instructor baek because we’re supposed to. and chan’s our leader, anyways. whether we want to or not, we listen to him.” he sniffs. “hyunjin’s different. he’s only been training for, what, less than a year? he thinks he knows everything.”

“sungie,” woojin says, in a low voice, as if warning the younger. “he specialises in _dance_ , for god’s sake, what else is he supposed to do? ignore the fact that you’re missing out on a step that only he can manage to see?”

the sound of the plate of toppoki chinking against the tabletop as it’s being set down is the only sound other than the silence that inhibits the both of them momentarily. “still,” jisung whines, but he knows how deep in shit he is right now. shit.

“you’d better make up with him,” woojin advises carefully, picking up the fork and stabbing at a rice cake. he pops it into his mouth, chewing slowly. “we’re on cameras all day starting next month, and we don’t want you and hyunjin’s, well, whatever it is, to make us look bad. we’ve only got one shot at this, sungie - he’s right. think about the others. it’s not just about you, jisung.”

with that, he sets the fork down and scrapes the chair backwards. before he leaves, he ruffles jisung’s hair once, and stalks off and out of the cafeteria, leaving jisung all alone in the room.

 

— 

 

just before the two kids’ room shoot, the three producers are holed up in the recording studio, racking their heads together as they run through one of their songs in the upcoming album. while jisung’s in the middle of editing through a song with chan and changbin, his phone buzzes on the tabletop. changbin, sat closer to his phone, cranes his neck to check the screen. “your boyfriend texted you,” he sing-songs gleefully with a wide smirk across his face.

chan glimpses up from the keyboard. “can hyunjin stop texting you while we’re trying to finalise songs for our comeback?” he asks, but there’s a teasing lilt in his voice. “changbin-ah, read out the text-”

“-yah!” jisung yells, practically leaping out of his seat to snatch his phone away from the older. he hums, swiping across the screen to open the kakaotalk app, hyunjin’s messages blinking up at him.

 

 **jinnie** **♥**

sungiiiiiieeeeee

when will u come back ;^;

 

 **sungie** **♥**

soon ok

when we shoot for 2kr laterr

 

 **jinnie** **♥**

come back fasterrrrrrr :((((

 

“that is _disgusting_ ,” changbin groans, pretending to throw up at the sight of jisung’s messages. jisung thwacks the back of changbin’s head, earning him a yowl of pain before he returns his attention to the phone in his hand.  


**sungie** **♥**

then what will i get in return?

 

 **jinnie** **♥**

kisses

cuddles

LOTS OF THEM

just leave chan-hyung and changbin-hyung alr ;^; !!!

i miss youuuuu

 

“no way in hell are you leaving us,” chan scoffs, leaning over jisung’s shoulder. jisung whines, kicking chan’s shin. both of his friends simply laugh at him, changbin thumping the tabletop from how hard he’s chortling with laughter.

“just go,” changbin barks. “or else you’ll only be rushing us through this song. and you wouldn’t want that to happen, would you, when your little boyfriend dances so _sexily_ in this song-”

“-shut uuuup,” jisung whines. still, he collects his phone, unplugs his headphones and ruffles changbin’s hair. “you two will get it from me back at the dorms,” he adds over his shoulder, which only makes the two boys giggle before jisung darts out of the room.

 

— 

 

in fact, back then, jisung didn’t even _try_ to attempt to make up with the other boy. he’d simply stormed back into the practice room, avoiding all eye contact with hyunjin and kept his eyes on the mirror. the next hour of practice had been tense with silence, save for the squeaking of sneakers against the floors and the sound of panting from exhaustion.

when they dart back to the dorms, jisung ducks into the bathroom first, rinsing himself quickly with the honey lime body wash seungmin bought for the whole team (“because,” seungmin sniffs. “to whoever who owns the herbal body wash in the bathroom, spoiler alert: it fucking _stinks_.” changbin had resorted to cowering behind woojin’s frame) before drying. while he’s flossing his teeth, there comes a loud rapping against the door of the bathroom, which isn’t out of the norm; they’ve only got two bathrooms in this dorm, anyways. he hurriedly tosses the floss into the trash, balls up his sweaty clothes and wrenches open the door to reveal a very sweaty hyunjin. his breath hitches at hyunjin’s tired eyes and the downturn of his lips, but he simply side-steps the boy and walks off.

he hadn’t even tried to say sorry, because jisung is eighteen and naive and head-strong that he’s always right. yet, for the rest of the night, he doesn’t sleep quite well, not when woojin’s words keep ringing in his head. _we’ve only got one shot at this, sungie - he’s right. think about the others. it’s not just about you, jisung._

in the morning, he manages to claim the bathroom first, narrowly missing it by a very competitive jeongin. he hurriedly washes up, before slipping on a white sweatshirt and jeans for the day.

by the time he reaches the cafeteria for breakfast, chan’s already there, practically dozing over his breakfast of bread and salad. jisung manages to snatch up chan’s glass of orange juice before the poor guy’s head meets with the table.

“morning,” jisung choruses aloud, loudly enough for chan to jerk awake.

“hey,” chan blinks. his eyebags are deep-set, an embodiment of the boy himself. for a moment, jisung empathises with the older, who practically _lives_ in the recording studio. as the days drag past them, jisung realises he’s seeing lesser and lesser of chan in the dormitories at night.

“all-nighter again?” jisung quizzes as he butters his toast.

he receives a disgruntled hum from chan sat opposite him. “you should really get some sleep, hyung; how’re you gonna stay awake in front of all the cameras next month?”

chan chuckles, before reaching out to flick jisung against the forehead. “could say something similar to that for you. how’re you and hyunjin gonna stay peaceful in front of all the cameras next month?” he mimics jisung. the younger’s face is set alight, pink dusting across his cheeks.

“hyung, no,” jisung rolls his eyes like a kid on a tantrum, and chan has to click his tongue.

“i don’t get the beef between the both of you, honestly,” chan sighs, exasperation evident in his tone. “you’re both trying to debut together, what’s so bad about that? and you get along just fine with the others.”

jisung sighs. this is the guy who jisung’s been acquainted to the moment he’d stepped into the building, the guy who knows jisung inside and out and everything in between, the guy who’s been jisung’s comrade he confides in for years now. he shakes his head. “i don’t know. he just gets on my nerves sometimes, y’know? besides, woojin-hyung already gave me the pep talk yesterday; i don’t need a repetition.”

chan hums, chewing on his bite of bread before swallowing. “woojin told me what he said to you. but did you _actually_ make up with hyunjin, though?”

“obviously not,” jisung snorts, waving a hand dismissively through the air. “why would i?”

as soon as the words leave his lips, hyunjin, alongside seungmin and felix, traipse into the cafeteria. jisung’s eyes land on the boy before quickly averting his gaze, but not without noting what hyunjin’s wearing today - _jisung’s_ goddamn tee tucked into sweatpants. fuck. of course, out of all days, jeongin _had_ to mix up the laundry when he was on duty on sunday.

and the worst thing is that hyunjin looks _good_ in the tee. of course he does, he _always_ does. it’s a faded white shirt with the words _GROW OLD DIE YOUNG_ scribbled across the front. jisung feels his hands begin to sweat as he remembers the first time hyunjin stepped into the practice room all those weeks ago, some kid who belonged more in the set of some flower boy drama rather than a training room full of perspiring teenagers.

and of _course_ hyunjin takes the seat beside jisung.

“hey, channie-hyung,” hyunjin greets, followed by the other two’s similar echoing greetings. he glances down at jisung momentarily as felix, as oblivious as he is, chirps a pleasant “morning, jisung!” alongside a cheery seungmin. without a word, hyunjin walks off to help himself to breakfast.

as soon as the other two take off to grab their food, too, jisung groans and stabs at his salad with his fork, metal chinking against the plastic. “see what i mean? even _he’s_ not trying to make up with me. so why should i bother?”

“maybe because _you_ provoked _him_ first?” chan reminds the younger. “all he was doing was pointing out your mistake, and you snapped at him. i was going to tell you off, too, but he’s got a sharper eye for these things; he can’t just ignore you slipping up like that.”

jisung goes quiet, trying to piece together a sentence to respond with. before he does, however, hyunjin plops back into the seat beside jisung, only two slices of thin bread on his plate and some water. and the apology is right _there_ , at the tip of his tongue, but jisung is eighteen and naive and _so_ fucking dumb, that the first thing that comes out of his wretched mouth is, “you dieting or something?”

hyunjin peers up, eyebrows furrowed. “i guess?” he answers slowly, cautious of how jisung’s staring at his food so blatantly. “you have a problem with that?”

“no,” jisung retorts. “at least you’re finally shedding some fat.”

hyunjin’s eyes widen. “what the fuck did you just say?”

the cafeteria isn’t quite that full, but there’s a few more trainees off by the side near the window, who get alarmed by hyunjin’s sudden outburst. yet, neither jisung not hyunjin seem to get the message, because jisung parts his lips once again. “you heard me right. at least you’re finally she-”

“-shut up. just shut _up,_ for fuck’s sake,” hyunjin snaps, slamming his fork down and scrambling to his feet. “what’s your problem with me? what did i even _do_ to you?” before jisung realises it properly, hyunjin’s tears start prickling and sliding down his cheeks. “i don’t get why you’re like this, you know. sometimes, i really don’t get you, han jisung.”

with that, he turns on his heel and stalks off. seungmin and felix shoot jisung a sharp glare each before standing and rushing off to comfort hyunjin. opposite him, chan simply looks at jisung in distaste. “you really don’t know when to stop, do you?”

when chan finishes his food and leaves, jisung is left alone, staring at his own plate of food as his tears start forming behind the fronts of his pupils.

 

— 

 

within minutes, jisung emerges in the dormitory, after the teasing he got from chan and changbin. “what?” jisung asks as he throws the door to the dorm he shares with hyunjin and the two others wide open. he notices hyunjin spread out eagle on the mattress, staring up at the ceiling. sighing, jisung clambers up the ladder, the bunk bed creaking as he slots himself into the space beside hyunjin.

hyunjin tilts his head, smiling softly at jisung. “ngaw, you actually came back,” he cooes, an arm circling around jisung’s slim waist and pulling him close, so close that jisung has to loop a leg over hyunjin’s and their noses graze each other.

jisung rolls his eyes. “chan and changbin insisted, kept telling me off for letting you text me while i’m working.”

“whoops,” hyunjin chuckles, his eyes turning up to form a pair of crescents adorning his face. he nuzzles their noses together softly, warm breath fanning over the other’s face. “still, you’re here with me right now, so should you really complain?”

“we’ve got the shoot in an hour,” jisung protests. “we should get going.”

“i promised you kisses, though,” hyunjin shoots back, before leaning in. jisung parts his lips to say something, but hyunjin’s lips press against them first. and, well, it spirals down, as it always does. jisung, for one, has always been fascinated by hyunjin’s lips: warm, plush, like sinking into pillows after a long, tiring day. their lips slot together, jisung tilting his head to dive deeper into the moment. the slick slide of the kiss is so, _so_ good, too good, as it always has been, and jisung whines into the other’s mouth. saliva pools in the corner of jisung’s mouth, but the kiss is too good to pull away from.

when hyunjin does jerk back momentarily, his eyes are hazy. “sungie-ah,” he giggles, before reeling the younger in again. this time, jisung feels bolder, allowing his tongue to lick along hyunjin’s full lower lip, nibbling on it tauntingly. hyunjin lets out a stuttered sigh as his tongue finds solace in jisung’s mouth, the taste of cranberry juice and remnants of lunch on his tongue. jisung’s brain almost short circuits when hyunjin grips onto his waist tighter, squeezing the flesh there, before his hand begins skimming down to his leg.

“we’re never gonna make it on time for the shoot,” jisung complains half-heartedly when they do pull back for breath. hyunjin’s full lips are pinker and even more swollen now, and when he swipes his tongue along the other’s bottom lip, jisung’s heart leaps treacherously against his ribcage.

“who cares?” hyunjin mumbles, pressing kisses all over jisung’s left cheek. “surely they’ll understand.”

“ _chan-hyung_ won’t understand,” jisung scoffs, though he has a gut feeling that the leader will somehow weasel an excuse out of himself for their manager to hear. “still… we could kiss for a bit longer, i guess…”

“that’s the spirit!” hyunjin shouts, laughing as he pecks jisung on the lips, and, well: who is jisung to complain about it?

 

— 

 

“let’s just make a pact.”

even now, jisung still remembers how low and hushed hyunjin’s voice was back then, so raw and exposed as hyunjin flicks the lock on the bathroom door. it’s nearing midnight, after another draining argument flaring up between the both of them. this time, chan had had enough, practically shoving the both of them out of the practice room and swearing that he’s “not letting the both of you in until you two fucking _talk_.”

jisung shakes some stray strands of hair out of his eyes, greasy from having not showered for over twenty-four hours. “what pact?”

“we hate each other, that’s a given,” hyunjin says bluntly. “just. let’s just not talk to each other. don’t make any comments. just ignore each other, that’s it.”

for a second, jisung’s mind draws a blank. he stares at hyunjin, his eyes scanning him up and down, from the sweaty shirt clinging to hyunjin like a second skin, down to the rips in his jeans and his converses, the scribbles on them having faded away. when he meets hyunjin’s eyes again, they’re glinting under the dim light of the bathroom. “ _what_?”

“think about it,” hyunjin mutters, rubbing his arm absent-mindedly. “all we do is shout at each other, and we start filming in a month’s time; there’s no way we’re supposed to keep some friendship shit up in front of all those cameras. just. let’s not talk.”

at that time, jisung didn’t predict, couldn’t have predicted, just how much their lives would change after that: how he’d catch hyunjin practising alone in the dance room, burning the midnight oil and touching something in jisung’s heart, or how he’d leave an iced drink behind for hyunjin for no apparent reason, or how his heart would start blossoming with feelings for the other sooner than he’d ever expect. instead, he nods, showing off a pinkie finger for hyunjin to hook his finger around. “pact.”

 

— 

 

“those pants are so _ugly_ ,” is the first thing jisung says as he pops into the dressing room, where hyunjin is being flocked by all the stylists taming his hair - something jisung is to blame for, threading his fingers through the soft ash brown hair earlier when they were chest-to-chest, lip-locked, until seungmin had come in to get them both down from the top bunk. he smothers a laugh as he nears hyunjin, clad in a black sweatshirt and yellow pants.

“shut up,” hyunjin rolls his eyes. the last stylist adjusts the collar of hyunjin’s shirt before rushing off to fix up felix’s makeup. he swivels around in his chair to face jisung, sighing. “i told them the colour looks kinda weird, but even _they_ couldn’t be moved by my charms.”

“what charms?” jisung jokes, prodding the other to swat at him with a whine. “sorry, sorry.” he reaches out to ruffle hyunjin’s hair, only to be reminded by the hand that wraps around his wrist instinctively.

hyunjin smiles sheepishly. “later, later,” he relents, grinning as he pops a breath mint into his mouth. “this is for in case you complain how smelly my mouth is… oh, wait, must’ve been from the kissing-” his laughter rises above the din of the dressing room as jisung leans over to tickle the boy’s sides.

their manager pokes his head into the room, before calling out for the two of them. “c’mon, the both of you are up next. get going,” he instructs, before darting back to the set. jisung stretches out a hand, which the other takes delicately before scrambling to his feet.

“ready to be utterly honest with each other?” jisung teases lightly, curling their fingers together subtly, which earns him a giggle from the older.

hyunjin shrugs. “honestly, this is the third time, and i’m still unsure as to what we’re _actually_ supposed to talk about in 2kr. are we supposed to reminisce about our past? talk about the future? about ourselves or the people we’re talking to?”

sighing, jisung rubs soothing circles all along hyunjin’s back. “don’t worry so much. i think, just say anything that comes to your mind during the shoot. like, don’t make it awkward.”

“‘s gonna be awkward referring to you as my good friend rather than a boyfriend, though,” hyunjin laughs. “if i slip up, i’ll be screwed all over.”

jisung laughs, trying hard not to let it show how much the name affects him. _boyfriend_ . his heart thumps a little harder at how hyunjin might refer to him as his boyfriend at a fanmeet, maybe, if a fan asked him about it. the thought is a far cry from reality, however, and instead he elbows the taller of the two in the ribs. “ _boyfriend_? hardly ever hear you call me that.”

“unless you want me to call you my _honey-bunny,_ ” hyunjin cooes, pursing his lips together into a pout. “or my little squirrel baby.” it’s too cute to resist, and when they round a dark corner jisung hurriedly pecks those cute lips before dragging hyunjin onto the set of the shoot.

 

— 

 

sometime during the survival show schedule, as hectic as it is, hyunjin manages to squeeze time to dart into the recording room one day to drag jisung out of the studio, who promptly ditches chan and changbin without too much persuading. sometime after their first kiss, hyunjin takes jisung out on a date. and by ‘date’, he pretty much means ducking into the nearby convenience store to ransack the snacks aisle and buy ice cream together for themselves and to stock up their near-empty fridge back in the dorms.

still, jisung’s heart is a wild horse, its muscles contracting and relaxing fast and squeezing the blood out of his heart as hyunjin allows their hands to intertwine. it’s a rather chilly autumn evening, so they hurriedly duck into the convenience store, with hyunjin on the lookout for some cup ramyun to cook back in the dorm.

jisung grabs a few tubs of ice cream, dropping them carelessly into a basket before strolling towards hyunjin, who’s still agonising over the potato chips packets. “just grab one and go, honestly,” he hisses. “manager-nim might suspect where we’re at.”

“i told him i was heading out alone for a bit, so i insisted that he didn’t need to tag along,” hyunjin protests, leaning back to press a chaste kiss on jisung’s cheek. a familiar gurgle of nerves twists in jisung’s gut at how casual the whole situation is - how they’d been sworn enemies who’d rather die than be within a three-metre radius of each other, to where they are now - teammates in a survival show who kiss every other day, who sneak under each other’s blankets at night, who laugh over every little joke they crack to the point where even felix is suspicious about the both of them, and felix has _always_ been bad at picking things up.

he purses his lips together, which goes unnoticed by the taller. “what’s up?” hyunjin asks fondly, as he shoves a few packets of chips into the basket. “you look so… deep in thought.”

jisung shakes his head. “let’s pay up first,” he tells hyunjin, who reluctantly agrees as they carry the baskets over to the cashier counter. within minutes, they’re sat across from each other, ripping open the wrapping on their ice creams. jisung thinks it’s ridiculous - it’s getting colder by the second, and they’re _supposed_ to stick to their strict diets which definitely do _not_ include ice cream (then again, there hardly ever seems to be a lack of them in the freezer back in the dorms). hyunjin flicks his tongue out to lick at his mango popsicle, and jisung almost drops his orange-flavoured one at the crude sight before him.

oblivious to jisung’s racing heart, hyunjin cocks his head sideways. “what’re you thinking about?”

he hesitates for a moment, taking a big bite out of his popsicle as he mulls over his thoughts. “about… about this.”

“eating ice cream when we’re not supposed to?” hyunjin offers cheekily.

“no, i mean,” he gestures to the both of them with his free hand, shyly lowering his head. “this. us.” he swallows. “isn’t it weird? that maybe two or three weeks ago we were barking down each other’s throats and now here we are?” he frowns. “what are we, jinnie?”

hyunjin blinks, his lips pressed together into a thin line. “are you doubting us?” he asks slowly.

“no,” jisung replies quickly. he hesitates, before adding, “maybe.”

“ah, sungie-ah,” hyunjin smiles. jisung wonders how a smile, with those crescent eyes and that button nose to match, could warm his heart so much. it’s as if honey flows through his veins, warm and smooth and slow; as if time slows down only for the both of them to relish in the moment. “have i ever told you why i like you?”

hands jittery from the nerves prickling his skin, jisung shakes his head furiously. “no. why?”

“because you’re _you_ ,” hyunjin laughs, and by _god_ , hyunjin laughs at everything and anything, and yet the high tinkling of his laughter and tendency to clap his hands together like a seal is still so adorably animated. “because even though i hated your guts since i stepped into the practice room, i thought you were really, i don’t know. talented? passionate? and you weren’t afraid to stand your ground and argue your points, which, of course, led to us fighting,” he chuckles, watching the beet root colour rise up jisung’s neck and splotch across his cheeks. “and you’re admittedly good-looking, and then this whole combination of you being able to sing, rap, dance, _and_ produce good songs is all just so…” his voice trails off, unable to find the right word. “bizarre. it’s impossible not to like you, at the end of the day, when you’ve got a good heart, too.”

“‘good heart’?” jisung chokes out, startled. “hyunjin-ah, i called you _fat_.”

“i chalked it off as you being super duper skinny and not being able to accept anything wider than your tiny waist,” hyunjin sighs, poking jisung’s hip with his free hand. “we made up anyways, remember? when you dropped by and left the drink for me? i knew it was you; i saw a bit of your beanie through the mirror, and just _no one_ borrows your beanies.”

grinning, jisung puffs his chest out. “that was nice of me, wasn’t it?”  
“and then only a few days later, you started thinking about kissing me-”

“-oh, _no_ ,” jisung groans. if his cheeks had been red before, he now quite resembles a ripe red tomato, the heat rushing to his cheeks. “how much did channie-hyung tell you?”

“not too much,” hyunjin hums. “‘s cute, though, that my lips appeal to you so much-”

“-shut uuuuup,” jisung claps his hands over his ears, having finished his ice cream. “blah blah blah-”

“-are my lips really that pretty, sungie-ah?-”

“-blah blah blah,” jisung echoes, and only shuts up when the taller leans across the table to peck jisung’s cheek affectionately. even when jisung scowls at hyunjin, he knows there’s a glint of something similar to love reflected in both of their bright pupils, under the lights of their convenience store date.

 

— 

 

as jisung traipses onto the set of the shoot, he laughs at the bananas on the coffee table opposite the couch. “no potato chips this time?” he teases a staff member, who shows off a strained smile. hyunjin thumps jisung lightly on the shoulder, but he conceals a giggle too.

“we’re rolling in three minutes,” the director calls out, the room echoing with his voice. sighing, hyunjin flops down onto the couch, patting the space beside him for jisung to sit.

“you have an idea what you want to talk about later?” hyunjin asks, playing with the hem of his sweatshirt, a nervous habit. he presses his lips together.

jisung grins, showing off his teeth as he leans back. tucking an arm under his head, he throws his head back and sighs. “ah, hyunjin-ah - we have _so much_ to talk about later, yeah.”

 

— 

 

shortly after the end of their survival show, preparations for debuting seem to lapse over the nine boys’ usual routines; now, they’re awake by five-thirty and jostling each other to snatch the bathrooms first; hell, even _woojin_ manages to force himself awake out of his slumber every day. dance practices morph into some next-level fumbling of legs and hands and heads as everyone tries to learn the dance as quickly as the three producers can edit the songs.

at one point, jisung’s bent over at the knee, groaning at his aching muscles from the taxing dance; district 9 is _so_ not as easy as minho or felix or hyunjin makes it seem when they’d first demo’ed for the others to watch. he hastily swipes at the sweat on his forehead with the back of his hand before glancing up, just to see hyunjin offering him some water.

“you good?” hyunjin asks.

“peachy,” jisung snorts, but takes the cup of water gently in his hands and glugs it down. when he’s done, he lets out an obnoxiously loud “ahhh”, making hyunjin giggle. from where seungmin has found solace in the foldable chair near the boom box, he scoffs at the both of them.

seungmin shakes his head. “just ‘cause the rest of us know about you two doesn’t mean you guys have to be so lovey-dovey in front of my face,” he snorts, before taking a swig of his water.

“like how you are with changbinnie-hyung?” jisung shoots back, and that seems to shut seungmin up for a bit. hyunjin squeals with laughter, throwing his head back and almost knocking into a passing felix.

practice flickers past jisung’s eyes, and before he even realises it, the clock hand is nearing the ten o’clock marking. as everyone begins packing up for the day, chan steers jisung out of the room and into the recording studio, the younger simply following chan into the room. realising changbin is nowhere to be found, jisung’s eyebrows knit together, puzzled.

“are we working on that sample song from this afternoon?” jisung asks tentatively, trying to read the expression on chan’s face. this is bad. Very, Very Bad. usually chan only ever calls him out when he’s mad or frustrated with jisung, which, while it is rare, is also Very Petrifying.

chan shakes his head, before folding his arms across his chest. “i was gonna talk to you about you and hyunjin, actually,” he finally blurts out, before pausing to see the look on jisung’s face. he sighs. “i get that the both of you are together and everything, but just remember that we’ll be promoting a lot, going on live shows and stuff. cameras everywhere. just-”

“-i get it,” jisung sighs, too, threading a hand through his hair. “i get it. be careful, don’t kiss in public, blah, blah, blah-”

“-it’s detrimental to the whole team,” chan warns, voice hushed and low, as if the walls could hear their every word. “if you two were to fuck up, the fans would realise. and stuff like this travels fast, and-” he cuts short, stopping himself, before sucking in a deep breath. “talk to hyunjin about this, sort it out. don’t… just don’t be stupid, yeah?”

jisung feels like he’s being tattled by his dad, but he knows chan is right; he always is, isn’t he? he simply nods, devoid of emotion, before padding out of the recording room. he practically bowls over hyunjin, waiting for him outside while staring down at his phone screen.

“hey,” hyunjin greets, stuffing his phone back into the pocket of his grey sweatpants, ripped at the knees for no apparent reason. “i thought you were working on songs with chan-hyung and changbin-hyung, but changbin-hyung said you guys weren’t. thought i’d pay you a visit.”

noticing the perplexed expression etched into jisung’s face, hyunjin frowns. “you okay? did chan-hyung scold you about practice just now? because you seemed about fine to me-”

“-not about me,” he replies quietly. he reaches out to lace their fingers together; he’s always relished in the feeling of hyunjin’s longer, thinner fingers tracing the skin of jisung’s chubbier ones, always decorated with silver rings. “about us,” he adds, even softer now.

“ah,” hyunjin nods his head, as if he understands. “let’s head back first, then talk about it, yeah?”

later that night, when they’re both scrubbed and showered, jisung shuffles into hyunjin’s bed, careful not to alarm the others already fast asleep. even in the darkness, he can make out hyunjin’s bright eyes, the slope of his strong nose down to the curve of his lips. the milky skin of his collar peeks out from under the collar of his pyjama shirt, and jisung doesn’t hesitate to let his fingers trace the skin there. jisung cherishes the feeling of hyunjin massaging his head with his fingers, drawing circles atop his hair. hyunjin leans close, their noses grazing each other before he hesitantly pressing their lips together. it’s calm, quiet, only the soft sound of heavy breaths and smacking of their lips audible in the silence.

jisung pulls back a little, to look at the other in the eye. “chan-hyung was saying how we have to be more careful,” he mutters. “more cameras. everywhere. can’t be as casual as we are now.”

“solution?” hyunjin murmurs.

“what?”

  
“your solution is…?” hyunjin asks again, tilting his head so he’s laying down on jisung’s narrow shoulder. “what do you want to do about it? break up or something?”

“what? _no_ , no,” jisung scoffs. “no breaking up, just…” he rubs the underside of his arm, scratching at an itch there as he ponders over the thought. “just… we have to be more careful. i don’t want to distance myself from you, anyways,” he adds finally. “i know debuting will be straining on us, but i don’t want to have to let go of someone like you, you know?”

hyunjin simply smiles and kisses jisung again. and again. and again, and jisung thinks he’s chosen the right thing, the right words to say. the right person.

 

— 

 

jisung caps the marker pen, grinning as he stares at the words scribbled hastily onto the glass, extra careful not to be too sappy or too obvious in his words. When he turns on his heel to walk off, the director nods his head. “cut!” he calls out, signalling the end of their episode shoot. as jisung stalks off-set, hyunjin grins and leans in to loop an arm casually around his shoulder.

“i’m starving,” he grumbles.

jisung chuckles. “didn’t you just eat a banana, though?” he points out.

hyunjin pouts. “still hungry,” he mumbles. he tilts his head to look at the other straight in the eye, the corners of his lips turning upwards. “hungry for youuuuu,” he adds, voice slightly lower as he nibbles at jisung’s ear.

understanding what the older is implying, jisung’s cheeks flush a crimson red. “we still have a few more shoots, jinnie, you can’t possibly-”

“-i am,” hyunjin huffs. he surveys their surroundings briefly, and the lack of staff members prompts him to lean over and press chaste kisses along jisung’s jaw. the latter squirms, trying to shrug the taller off, but to no avail. (not that he tries very hard, anyways.)

“get offff,” he whines, when he actually means the exact opposite.

hyunjin smirks. “sure thing, love,” he cooes, pulling back, but he still keeps his arm slung nonchalantly over his shoulder, and despite having been so many months since hyunjin first pulled him into the recording studio, jisung’s heart is still as restless as it is now, wild and untamed - he finds it alright, though, since his heart matches hyunjin’s own thriving, restless soul.

  


**Author's Note:**

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